My friend Tyler responded to a listserve teacher question yesterday with the following funny response and I thought I'd share. The question was 'how do I correctly document my year in China on a resume?' The results from Tyler follow and are sure to humor:
1. The honest entry:
English Speaking Clown
Shenzhen Education Bureau
09/05-06/06
> Duties often entailed daily public humiliation and embarrassment, as well classroom and occasional birthday party entertainment.
2. The Slightly exaggerated and overly sophisticated entry:
Expert Facilitator of Spoken English Acquisition
Shenzhen Education Bureau
09/05-06/06
> Duties included: extensive and arduous lesson planning, daily lecturing, and school administration responsibilities.
3. The outright, but still feasible and defendable lie:
US Department of Education Foreign Spy
Shenzhen Education Bureau (cover)
09/05-06/06
> Duties included: foreign teacher impersonation, regular maintenance of hand to hand combat and numb-chuck skills, as well as the occasional "elimination" of students deemed as potential threats.
Note: Anyone who actually uses any of the above entries on their resumes can thank me when the said entry lands that dream job as CEO, Corporate Lawyer, Stripper, etc... Thank Yous will be most appreciated in the form of generous financial contributions to the Make A Wish And Make Tyler Rich Foundation (MAWAMTRF).
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